tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67539732008-08-13T20:09:46.555-07:00ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comBlogger571125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-62816942800021744662008-06-04T06:00:00.000-07:002008-06-04T05:37:23.231-07:00

You guys know about the usual rigmarole that involves this last day of school. It is absolute chaos with teachers trying to turn in grades and whatnot. Previously, I’ve mentioned what a pain it is to turn our keys in on the last day. Let me elaborate on that. For some reason the AP in charge of this always makes himself difficult to find. During the entire day announcements will be made of where

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-91550290201536037952008-06-03T07:00:00.001-07:002008-06-03T07:00:01.325-07:00

So this student asked me if I think she passed. Typically, this is no big deal. As soon as tests are turned in, kids will ask me if they passed or not. Mind you that I haven’t had a chance to pick up the test, let alone grade the thing. This time though, she asked before she had even taken her test. Obviously, I didn’t know how to answer her. I mean last week, I’d reviewed with her what she would

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-46586935509318952542008-06-02T07:11:00.000-07:002008-06-02T07:12:52.629-07:00

Place your bets!

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-24923662871427288252008-05-30T06:46:00.000-07:002008-05-30T07:04:32.886-07:00

Dead week is over, and it is now finals time. If you ask me that’s an appropriate name for this last week. My patience is dead. Stop asking me if we have to do anything this week. My hearing is dead because trust me, this week the kids amp up the stuff that comes out of their mouths. Their filters are completely off (you might say, “dead”). They can never make it to the end of the year. It’s

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-61176984613327702312008-05-29T05:58:00.000-07:002008-07-03T06:08:14.858-07:00

Tomorrow's the day—the first day of finals. There will be three finals tomorrow. I feel like I’m getting to be kind of a grizzly veteran on this whole teaching gig. So let me see if I can predict how they will go. First Final: Since I have so many kids in this class exempt from the final, it will pretty much be just me and the kids who don’t have a chance in hell of passing. I’m talking about

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-44400446792165798612008-05-28T06:16:00.000-07:002008-05-28T06:26:42.868-07:00

I guess this classifies for a Tales of Hallway Hijinks because it does start in the hallway, but it certainly doesn’t end there. At the very least it’s crappy. So I’m walking down the history hall when I come across two kids who are supposed to be working on some last second assignment (make-up work, bonus work given by the teacher to save their grade, who knows). Instead, they’re practicing

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-83733478135642474742008-05-27T09:41:00.000-07:002008-05-27T09:50:41.936-07:00

Good lord almighty! Why does this get to me every year? I know it’s coming. You guys know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about reviewing for the final. Well, I call it reviewing. They call it tell me the answer so I can mindlessly write it down. I go through all this trouble to put together a review for these kids, which, if you ask me, is awfully kind of me. Do you kids want know what’s

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-90249156079821521472008-05-23T05:58:00.000-07:002008-05-23T06:00:12.660-07:00

It’s my understanding that for some of you this may be your last day of the school. To you I would like to wish you—excruciating pain. I’m serious. I hope that sunscreen runs into your eyes as you lay by your pools. I hope you choke on the mint leaves of your mojitos. I hope you scald your hands on your hibachis! I’m sorry about that people. I’ve still got a couple of weeks to go, and I’m just

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-41253095576008028562008-05-22T05:01:00.000-07:002008-05-22T05:04:34.057-07:00

Today’s the one day when I’m invisible. Why? Because it is yearbook day. Sure, I’m ignored constantly during instruction and whatnot, but this is different. Yearbook day literally shuts down the school. They cancel seventh period (which isn’t so bad), so all the kids can go out into the commons and sign each other’s books. No, today’s different. Today, I’ll be completely unnoticed. It’s useless

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-74500066853012035382008-05-21T05:22:00.000-07:002008-05-21T05:24:34.129-07:00

One of my kids asked me to photocopy his driver’s license so he could submit his paperwork for a school parking space for next year—during the middle of class. There’s nothing like a student focused on closing the end of the year out. Jeez. Just for that I had to rev up the sarcasm. “Oh okay, do you want me to do the front and back?” “Uh, sure.” “I know; I can set it up to where the front and

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-42953328652832217392008-05-20T04:48:00.000-07:002008-05-20T04:57:49.946-07:00

This week's Tales of Hallway Hijinks concerns all the clutter that is out in our hallways. It seems that a number of teachers have purged their rooms for the end of the year. I’ve never seen so many school projects that students have failed to pick up through out the year. One of the history teachers had these models of various famous structures from the past. There was a student that was doing a

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-48535779920945377582008-05-19T06:19:00.000-07:002008-05-19T06:21:04.774-07:00

We’ve been getting nagged by the department head about a missing stapler from the workroom. There’s been five updates so far today. Seriously, how many times can Borrish send out e-mails about a stupid stapler that has workroom in whiteout on it? Hello? We’re trying to close out the year. There are other things to worry about. We get it; keep an eye out for the stapler. So to shut her up I’m in

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-65210631075413833472008-05-16T04:36:00.000-07:002008-05-16T04:38:32.949-07:00

Pécan sent out an e-mail wishing everyone a happy Teacher Appreciation Week. Yes, it was last week, but don’t worry. He recognized the oversight. He blamed the hectic schedule of the last two weeks for not preparing anything. Not to worry, though; he is working on something whiz-bang for us for next week. He then went on to ask us if we had or knew of anybody who had access to items that could be

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-26705475800518674832008-05-15T05:18:00.000-07:002008-05-15T05:20:23.131-07:00

Hammer sent out another e-mail expressing her dissatisfaction with teachers releasing students before the last bell. This time she said that seventh period was the one period where she expected bell-to-bell instruction. Really? Just seventh period? And here I am bustin’ my ass teaching every period. Seriously, why did she have to assume that we’re not teaching every second of every day? Most

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-62786853420493483712008-05-14T04:47:00.001-07:002008-05-14T05:45:11.874-07:00

On this episode of Tales of Hallway Hijinks I’m passed by one of the AP’s carrying a ladder. He just looked up at me and said, “Students are in the ceiling again.” I left him with an awkward smile. It was one of those awkward smiles that revealed pity. Poor guy—if only he could throw a bug bomb up there or something.

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-36121530126219402642008-05-13T04:30:00.000-07:002008-05-13T04:31:49.722-07:00

So this angry mother calls me, but it’s not your typical I’m angry because my daughter is failing and I want to blame you type of call. No, she called demanding to know who she was speaking to on the other end. It turns out that I had called her daughter’s cell phone, and she wanted to know why a grown man was calling her daughter. So let me back up on all this mess. A student of mine is failing

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-13280230554455454692008-05-12T05:23:00.000-07:002008-05-12T05:26:33.020-07:00

Read and enjoy—or—vomit.

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-37586343675778571052008-05-09T04:34:00.000-07:002008-05-09T04:41:18.770-07:00

In this edition of Tales of Hallway Hijinks I almost had a video cassette take my head off as it was launch from inside a classroom and smashed against on the many cinderblock walls we have lining our halls. The teacher marches out pass me without acknowledging my presence, picks up the video carcass and begins to rip its carcass apart. He’s finishing the job that the wall had started. I stand

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-61491408336697238972008-05-08T05:28:00.000-07:002008-05-08T05:39:05.778-07:00

I think our librarian is ready for summer to get here. Her e-mails are getting more and more, uh—snappish:Attention Teachers: Stop sending stuff to be laminated that has no business of such a service. It is very expensive to laminate items, so it must be apparent that what you send me is worthy of such an expense. For example, some of you have been submitting the completed assignments of

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-166025620750082212008-05-07T05:12:00.000-07:002008-05-07T05:18:46.440-07:00

I was walking by the office of the lady who takes care of students IEP’s (Individualized Education Program), and she stepped out to stop me and ask if I could sign a student’s paperwork. The kid’s teacher didn’t show up, and she’s required by the state to have one of the student’s teacher sign, which again, isn’t me. I wonder if she was offended when I didn’t break stride and laughed all the way

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-77551340620072360152008-05-06T07:11:00.001-07:002008-05-06T07:11:30.728-07:00

I've got nothing to say today--just read.

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-20807124629631951482008-05-05T09:56:00.000-07:002008-05-05T09:57:44.978-07:00

Hammer sent out an e-mail expressing a concern that teachers were releasing kids before the last bell of the day, giving students the opportunity to create problems in the hallways before administrators are in place to monitor behavior. I wonder how desperate a teacher is to do that? I mean we’re talking about five minutes or so here. You can’t bear to be in the same room for that much longer?

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-28513825452763898442008-05-02T06:56:00.000-07:002008-05-02T06:56:00.288-07:00

We got a notice that phones would be down for the day—no calling in, no calling out—the whole shebang. Now this is indeed a bit worrisome. I mean no communication can lead to chaos, but there is a bright side—no parent phone calls for a day. By three o’clock I’ve got all kinds of crap waiting for me on my voice mail. “Please return this call after 9 PM because I am only available then.” “It’s

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-50959536632803579762008-05-01T06:59:00.000-07:002008-05-01T14:09:37.093-07:00

I tell you what. Calculus has sure done a one-eighty since the beginning of the year. By the way things were looking I was scared that she wasn’t going to make it to graduation, but I guess she caught her senioritis before everyone else and thus recovered. Did you know that she’s going to go to college for sign language? I didn’t either! It came totally from left field for me. She says she plans

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6753973.post-81540443348397397502008-04-30T06:53:00.000-07:002008-04-30T04:51:27.359-07:00

Take a look at this e-mail from one of our science teachers: Dear colleagues, help me pay for my cruise this summer by stopping by my room (K387) and viewing one of a kind jewelry made by moi! : ) You’ll find my stuff affordable and fabulous!Look lady, I wouldn’t buy your jewelry even if you made that necklace from Titanic and your cruise ship was—the Titanic. I am a professional. Why am I

ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13574967229976511604noreply@blogger.com